Dating doesn’t come with an expiration date — but it does come with surprises. For many women in their 60s, 70s, 80s and even 90s, the search for companionship, romance and intimacy looks very different from what it did decades ago.
From young men seeking casual, no-commitment encounters to a 92-year-old who misrepresented his age, older women reveal the realities of dating later in life — and their stories are honest, funny, heartbreaking and, above all, hopeful.
Longing for Love Again in Your 70s
After losing her partner a decade ago, one 78-year-old woman decided she wasn’t finished with love. In the past year alone, she has gone on 10 dates.
At first, she thought what she missed most was physical closeness. But over time, she realised it was something deeper: shared sunsets, picnic blankets spread under open skies, and the feeling of being cherished. She doesn’t just want company — she wants to feel alive again in love.
She insists that somewhere, there’s a man in his late 60s or 70s who is ready to embrace life passionately in its final chapters. And she refuses to stop looking.
Online dating, however, has been discouraging. She left Match.com after being accused of using fake photos because she “looked too young” for her age. Ironically, younger men in their 50s expressed interest, but she wasn’t drawn to them. She wants someone walking at the same pace in life.
In person, she’s tried dinner dances and singles events. But many men her age prioritise traditional family structures — grandchildren, home-centred lifestyles — and sometimes prefer women who fit that mold. After three promising dates, one man told her he wanted someone “less glamorous” and more “homey.”
She refuses to dim her light. She dresses boldly in white, red, turquoise and pink, wearing makeup and embracing her style unapologetically. “These are my last years,” she says. “I want to live authentically.”
“Men in Their 60s Used Polaroids From the 1970s”
For Pauline Tomlin, a 61-year-old actor from Leeds, dating has felt like wandering through a desert.
She keeps herself fit and vibrant, yet many men her age seem to have let themselves go. When she does meet someone attractive, she often discovers he’s seeking a much younger partner.
Encouraged by friends, she briefly ventured into online dating. What she found startled her: men in their 60s using decades-old photographs, sometimes from the 1970s, as profile pictures. Conversations felt shallow, transactional, or vaguely opportunistic.
Pauline longed for simple pleasures — canal walks, coffee, shared laughter. Instead, she encountered men who seemed to be browsing rather than building connection.
As an Afro-Caribbean woman, she also faced another layer of complexity. Some online interactions felt fetishistic or lacking understanding of her lived experiences. She found herself exhausted by the idea of repeatedly explaining structural racism and microaggressions to potential partners.
Her final straw came when a man she was chatting with became verbally abusive after she gently called out an unkind comment. That ended her online dating journey.
Still, she hasn’t given up on love. She’s writing plays, singing in a choir, and pursuing long-held dreams. “Unless someone of quality comes along,” she says, “I won’t compromise.”
Coming Out and Finding Love at 84
In Palm Springs, 84-year-old Bonnie took a different path. After marrying young and raising two children, she entered her first romantic relationship with a woman in midlife. Later, she spent decades single — content, until the loneliness of lockdown at 79 shifted something inside her.
She joined Match.com and went on around 20 dates with women aged 75 to 85. What she found surprised her. Many potential partners seemed withdrawn, reluctant to travel, and deeply attached to routines. Some prioritised pets over people. One lunch date revealed — mid-smile — that she had no teeth.
Bonnie realised she needed more than companionship; she needed courage. She joined a queer relationship coaching platform to help her fully embrace her identity. That personal growth changed everything.
Taking advice to widen her age range downward, she met Cheryl, 68. Their first lunch was filled with laughter. Weeks later, they attended a blues festival together, staying up until 2am sharing stories. The connection was immediate.
A Proposal at the Eiffel Tower
Cheryl, 71, had previously been married to an older woman for 25 years before losing her partner. She hadn’t initially imagined dating someone older again — but Bonnie felt different.
They discovered shared passions: travel, adventure, emotional and physical compatibility. About a year into their relationship, they travelled to Paris — Bonnie’s dream destination.
At the top of the Eiffel Tower, Cheryl proposed.
Their wedding welcomed 100 guests. They walked down the aisle dressed in white to Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” Many friends had lived through decades when same-sex marriage wasn’t legal. The standing ovation they received felt like history catching up with their happiness.
Dating at 91 — With No Filter
D’yan Forest, a 91-year-old comedian in New York, has dated dozens of men over the past 30 years. She describes herself as bisexual and prioritises humour, intelligence and a love of travel over gender.
Dating, she admits, is harder now. Online matches frequently fizzle out. Many conversations never lead to meetings.
One man claimed to be 87 but confessed over hamburgers that he was 92. He bragged about his wealth and made crude remarks about sexual stamina. She left quickly.
She also encounters younger men who approach her after seeing her perform comedy. Often, they’re seeking brief encounters rather than meaningful relationships.
Unlike some peers who say intimacy has faded from their lives, D’yan still considers it important. But she’s selective. She wants connection, not convenience.
With no children and most of her family gone, she travels often, quietly hoping she might meet someone on a plane or in a café in Paris or London. She doesn’t necessarily need marriage or lifelong devotion — just companionship and shared laughter.
Hope Beyond the Noise
These women’s experiences show that dating later in life isn’t a fairy tale — but it isn’t hopeless either.
There are frustrations: age misrepresentation, shallow interactions, fetishisation, emotional immaturity and mismatched expectations. There’s also loneliness, especially when friends pair off or family structures differ.
But there is also resilience.
Whether it’s dressing boldly at 78, refusing to tolerate abuse at 61, marrying at 84, or continuing to swipe at 91, these women are clear about one thing: desire, dignity and hope do not disappear with age.
Love may look different in later life — less rushed, more intentional, sometimes complicated — but it remains deeply human.
And as these stories prove, the heart doesn’t retire.
